Friday, February 29, 2008

Commuter Sentences: Cheapest Variety Show

20061005bus_stopThis morning's bus ride was one of the more amusing in awhile. When I first got on, there were several interesting folks sitting in the seats near the rear door. The one woman, who I've seen before, was yelling at the 2 men sitting near her. She has a very interesting appearance. Her skin seems to have one of those disorders that causes spotting and discoloration. That's not what makes her odd--it just adds to the complete picture. She wears what can only be described as tatters. I'm not talking older clothing--but actual tatters. I'm not sure how it stays on. There is not a place where the jacket is actually in one piece. And, she wears the same thing all year, as far as I can tell. Her pants, shirt, and "tattered" jacket are all one color: the color of oatmeal. This set of people got off at Union Station, opening the space for more people.

Two gentleman got on, drinking from a Mountain Dew bottle. I don't think it was Mountain Dew. After a few stops, they had to move from their seats to allow space for a man in a wheelchair. This put them in close proximity to someone who somehow offended them. For the next, oh, 20-25 minutes, they were screaming at the guy, who, as far as I can tell, did or said nothing. I can't even recount exactly what they were saying, though I can remember some:

"Ain't nthin' wrong with you wanting to be white, but touch my friend again, and I'll whoop your ass."

"You remind me of my mother" (to a woman sitting a few seats away) "and that's the only reason I'm not getting down here."

You get the idea.

At some point, a man got on and sat behind me. He was continually commenting on the goings-on up front. I guess I looked tense. I was...between going to work and listening to the insanity, yeah, you could say I was a little tense. At one point, this man reached around and waved at me. I turned around:


"You look tense. You keep movin' your neck around. Maybe I can rub your back for you."

I admit, though a massage was tempting, I had to decline.

"Yeah, these big black hands will feel great on your back."

"No, thanks..."

I got off a block early. A very eventful morning. I think you could say I got my $1.25's worth!

Picture by The Washington Post Express,

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